The Undead Detective Agency

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Available in Kindle, print and audiobook!

Get It Together Audiobook

Narrated By Lance West

Audiobook Sample

Get It Together

The Undead Detective Agency: Book 1

Hello, there! I’m Octavius Evander. And this is the beginning of my story—well…sort of. It’s not the very beginning. As a vampire, that story would be way too long to write down—think, before the Romans. Rather, this story is about how I met the love of my unlife. Okay, it will be mostly about the cool and fancy detective agency I opened and solving mysteries, but also a little about love too.

So, what does one need to open a detective agency, you may ask? Well, for one, a detective. As it was my idea, and I paid for everything, I, of course, filled that role. Next, I needed a secretary. My beautiful and marginally dangerous best friend Scarlett filled that role. Now, I will admit, at that time, I had not thought further than that, and simply skipped to getting my detective license, an office, and some other necessities.

My mind might have been too full of the fun adventures I was about to have. My hope was that those in and out of the paranormal communities would keep me entertained for a very long time. I quickly realized I still needed a driver, a tech person, and a witch that was good with ghosts. This is the story of how I found those people. And who would have thought the first to walk through the door would be human, with no knowledge of the paranormal—my precious Turney.

CONTENT WARNING: This is a slow burn M/M paranormal romance book. There will be blood, violence and death. Please do not read if you find any of the previous triggering.

“License, check! Office…” Octavius Evander spun around in his spinney chair. The practically empty office and his secretary—slash—friend's face blurring as he did so. Octavius had to admit it wasn’t much of an office at the moment.
The building he had purchased was located in the busy side of the city of South Windsall, Connecticut, where many other businesses thrived. Did he need the whole four-story building? No, not really.
But Octavius had no intention of using all of it, or any plans to remove the current businesses working inside. His only interest had been a small office space on the third floor. Why rent one space when you can buy the whole building? Besides, now he didn’t have to worry about gaining permission to make changes, or about getting noise complaints from nosy neighbors.
The office in question was rectangular, with white laminate floors and white walls. It was only about 1000 square feet and had a completely open floor plan. Practically empty except for a few bits of furniture left by the previous tenants. Bonus, the large window on the far side gave a gorgeous view of the ocean. It would do until they had time to renovate!
Octavius stopped spinning to finally say, “CHECK! Now…” He tapped his chin, thinking. “I just need a flyer! And maybe an accountant. Though, I suppose I can use my current one. We may need some cameras and a few candles, some decorations, a sign, a witch, a car—”
His eye twitched, as the last time he drove flashed to the forefront of his mind—the smell of burning metal wafted forward, as did the charred flesh and feeling of broken bones. Shuddering, he gasped. “No!

No car, a driver. Okay, I need a lot more, but it’s a start! But first off, a flyer!”
Octavius grabbed a blank piece of black paper from the rather large stack on his desk, before he pulled a pair of glasses out of his pocket and put them on—for aesthetic purposes only—and started to write and draw on it with a white colored pencil. Octavius worked on it for the next few minutes, scratching his brow every so often, before exclaiming in excitement that he had finished!
“How does this sound?” He cleared his throat and began to read out loud.

The Undead Detective Agency

Lost something? Relative dead and never told his secrets? Think your spouse is cheating or maybe a werewolf?! Got a 100-year-old murder to solve?! The Undead Detective agency is here to help. We will find, summon, and uncover all you need to know, before you even know you need to know it.

Contact: XXX-338-8267
Currently hiring: a decorator (temp), a driver, a tech person (must be good with cameras and computers), and a witch (good with ghosts). PAYS WELL!

“How does that sound?” he asked Scarlett again, after she remained silent. His friend was giving him a rather incredulous look, he thought.

“Like you are a nutcase,” the redhead mused dryly.
His smile fell. “But I think it’s eye-catching! Don’t you? I made a tombstone design and everything, look!” Octavius held it up to show her.

“Last time I checked, humans still outnumbered us

paranormal creatures. Who are you planning to draw in with this?”
“Everyone!” he said, spinning in his chair again.
“Why is the paper black?”
Octavius really didn’t want to answer that. “Just for fun.”
“Okay, but why are the four boxes of paper in the corner marked ‘office paper’, the paper I asked you to get, also all black?”
He scrunched down under her judging gaze. “Well, you see, we are The Undead Detective Agency. And I thought, well, why not stick with the spooky theme and only use black paper!? So, I bought it instead of white. I did then realize the issues we would have reading what we printed. So, I, being the smart person that I am, canceled our printer orders, and instead bought a few modified printers that print on black paper in white ink!”
“You couldn’t have just returned the paper?”
Octavius gasped. “But the theme!”
She let out a long-suffering sigh. “Should you not at least put the hiring info on a different flyer?”
“But that would be such a waste of paper! Think of the environment!” Or rather, he had just spent all that time and didn’t want to spend even more time remaking not one but two flyers.
“As much of a waste as an ancient vampire suddenly deciding to open a Detective Agency, for no other reason besides that he is bored?” She deadpanned, not even blinking—not that she generally needed to blink.
“Well…you eat brains. What do you know?”
“I can also eat delicious sweets, unlike someone I know. What about it?”
He dramatically grasped at his chest, his mostly

unbeating heart under his palm, and let out a high-pitched whine. “How could you?! And what is so wrong with trying to get a hobby?”
Octavius’ despair at never being able to taste, to savor solid sweets again, hit him like… well, much like that truck had hit him the last time he had driven. He still had hot chocolate, but it wasn’t the same!
Scarlett Beaufort, his best friend, and the gorgeous zombie who perpetually appeared fed up with his existence, walked over and patted his back almost robotically. “There. There,” she said, voice as stiff as wood.

The Undead Detective Agency: Book 2

Keep It Together

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Keep It Together Audiobook

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Back again, I see. Well, you are in luck, for the story of, I, Detective Octavius Evander, continues! To start off on a positive note, prepare to be amazed as my precious human, Turney, falls into my hands!

Okay, technically, I already had my hands on him—all of him—but that didn’t make him mine, mine. But now it is time to show how I captured his heart with my lovable personality! No doubt my adorable and sparkly new hobby had something to do with it as well!

But enough about the gooey emotions. On to the cases! There will be a new adventure or two with my team to entertain. Though the adventures this time, well, not all end as pleasantly as one might hope. While I would say to prepare for the return of old faces, none of you have seen them before. Just know that their reappearance in my life leads to an unfortunate event. But in the paranormal world, fun and death go hand and hand, does it not?

CONTENT WARNING: This is a M/M paranormal romance book that ends on a cliffhanger. There will be violence and a main character death—a temporary death.

The sound of the outer office door opening silenced the room. No one moved to see who it was. Or rather, no one got a chance as the footsteps approached quickly, followed by a knock on the door to Octavius’ office slash their meeting room.

Henry’s voice called out, “Master Octavius, I’ve brought what you asked.”

Octavius let out a happy squeal, jumped up from his seat and threw the door open.

The other vampire stood a ways back from the door with a paper sack in hand. Good thing too, or else he would have been hit by it in Octavius’ excitement. Though, the fact he was standing so far back told Turney just how well Henry knew who he worked for.

Octavius made grabby hands at the bag. Turney stared at the sack with dread. And could only sigh as that dread was realized when the vampire pulled out a big bottle of iridescent orange glitter.

Turney groaned. “Henry, how could you?”

Yes, he was going to accept Octavius’ hobby. However, he still had to at least try to curb the vampire’s buying habits. Like, couldn’t he use up what he had first?!

“I’m going to assume this meeting is done,” Min-ji drawled. “Let’s head off, Scarlett.”

Scarlett sighed but dutifully followed behind Min-ji as she left.

“Apologies, Master Turney. I’m afraid it is best to just accept that some things cannot be stopped,” Henry demurred.

He eyed the glitter jar in Octavius’ hands.

****

Octavius took a hesitant step back, clutching his glitter closely under Turney’s mutinous gaze.
This was okay. It would be okay! Octavius had made plans. He had PLOTTED THE PLOTS! And said plots had come to fruition, the item having arrived at the office just that morning.
“Mine!” he cried out to distract the human. Taking off towards his desk, he envisioned his bat form, initiating the change. Octavius barely felt his body morph and shrink, the experience so common that it was like bending his knee.
Now a teeny tiny bat, he scurried under his desk, set his glitter down safely in the corner, and grabbed hold of the distraction decoy.
Octavius turned around, sitting on the ground, and waited for Turney to appear. Making sure his eyes were extra wide and innocent. He was confident in his adorableness.
Octavius held back his giggle at the sound of Turney sighing and walking over.
“Octavius, you really don’t…”
Turney had begun talking as he crouched down, and promptly trailed off upon catching sight of him.
Octavius wrapped his wings tighter around the plushie replica of himself in bat form and blinked cutely at the human.
Turney’s cheeks flushed, and he began to gnaw his bottom lip. The man was restraining himself, but Octavius saw the yearning.

Cave! CAVE! Octavius chanted in his head.

When Turney swept him and the plushie up into

his arms, he couldn’t contain the slightly evil giggle that bubbled free.

Hehe—sucker!

Sure, Octavius had been aware of Turney’s love of cute things. But now he knew that love was also a weakness. Such knowledge would only help him prevail in the future. For the good of his glitter, he had no choice but to do a little evil—and bribery.

Octavius sighed contently as Turney settled him and the plush in his lap and cuddled them.

Turney sighed, but definitely not from contentment, and groaned out, “This is so going to bite me in the ass.”

A burst of laughter broke free, but he quickly covered it up with a cough. “Whatever do you mean?”

“Don’t even try to play innocent.”

Octavius blew a raspberry at him before snuggling in.

Ah, this was the life. He had his human’s arms around him, he had his glitter, and he had tasted sweet, sweet victory. It was a good day.

In Death Together

The Undead Detective Agency: Book 3

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In Death Together Audiobook

Narrated By Lance West

Audiobook Sample

You’ve returned... good! Octavius Evander here, your lovable vampire detective. So, where we ended things last time, everything had gone horribly wrong. What can really be said, besides that change is a fact of life, and unlife. Turney, my love, my heart—unfortunately, he has much change to deal with. No matter, we will all get through it together! Some of us will be getting through it together, much closer than we ever expected, if you know what I mean.

But, enough about that. On to the cases! We will have a new one come up, one with love and questionable family relationships, and even a murder! We don’t get to witness the murder, but we can’t always get what we want. Either way, it’s going to be fun.

Lastly, I suppose there is also the old case looming over us. The 'pain in the ass' case. Prepare yourselves for pain, blood, betrayal, glitter, and devastation. No, hint’s as to whose…but remember, this is a love story. Stop worrying, you silly humans. It will be fine.

CONTENT WARNING: This is an M/M paranormal romance book, with a little F/F on the side. There will be blood, violence, gore, mention of sexual abuse (no on-page details), and death. Please do not read if you find any of the previous situations triggering.

Warning!! - Spoilers ahead: Scarlett’s mind was empty as she strolled boldly into her body maintenance room. A room that was pure metal—body fluids were…messy, so it made it easier to clean. As she looked around, she had the thought that, perhaps, her mind was more a chaotic void than empty at the moment.
Octavius walked in closely behind her, carrying Turney’s dead body. Octavius’ sandy blond curls were sticking down to his face. Where they weren’t plastered against his skin, they were curling wildly. While her friend had a fair amount of blood on his hands, and even on parts of his suit, the human was soaked in it. If Turney had blond instead of brown hair, she was sure it would have been stained red. As it was, the white button shirt he had on under his waistcoat was now stained a pale light red. The front of his waistcoat was such a torn, bloody mess that she wasn’t exactly sure what injuries he had.
Both men were soaked through and had dripped water onto her floors as they moved through her house. Turney was leaving behind a bloody trail. Well, his body was. Turney wasn’t there right now…it was just an empty shell. But the potential remained…
Watching Octavius gently lay the young human out on the metal table, she felt what could only be a stab of pain, of anguish, at seeing her best friend looking so distraught. Clutching at her chest, she forced her body to take a deep, relaxing breath. It wouldn’t do anyone any good for her to freak out. Her calm was needed now.

The doors burst open and both Min-ji and Cormac stormed in. The wolf was not as soaked as Octavius and Turney, but was dripping nonetheless.
Glaring at them. “Out!” she demanded.
Min-ji stood firm, glaring right back. “You can’t just change him! You don’t have permission!”
Get out, Min-ji,” Scarlett said firmly.
“I won’t leave until someone tells me what the fuck is going on!” Cormac roared. “Who the fuck killed him?! What the fuck did you smell at the office, Octavius?!”
Octavius didn’t even turn in Cormac’s direction. He just continued staring down at his dead lover. Hand smoothing over the man’s chest, whispering that it was going to be okay.
She grimaced. “Cormac, I know you have questions, but now is not the time.” She started pushing them both out. They protested as they went.
Once she had shoved them past the swinging doors, she came face to face with Henry.
The younger vampire's face was grim. “I’ll handle them, Mistress Scarlett. They won’t interrupt again.”
She gave him an appreciative smile. “Thank you.”
Calling him after getting the news had been a good choice. She closed the swinging doors and locked them for good measure before returning to Octavius.
Seeing her friend still talking to the corpse, she winced again as that sharp pain in her heart returned. Approaching, she gripped Octavius' shoulder. “Octavius, I need to examine him before we start the

process, okay?

In Death Together

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Forever Together Audiobook

Narrated By Lance West

Audiobook Sample

The Undead Detective Agency: Book 4

Forever Together

Octavius Evander here. I suppose you have come to see how it all ends. Well, ‘ends’, as in, we’ve reached the end of this part of my story. It wouldn’t be proper of me to move on until we finish it all off, right?

As this is the last book in this series, I feel it is my duty, to end things with a bang! A glittery bang. By bang, I mean, a giant, super cool, Halloween party. And what a party it was… Costumes, decorations, family, frenemies, scares, Turney screaming and clinging on to me—fun times! Not so fun was the interruption to said party. It really was unfair to me. I was on vacation from real murder and mayhem—case related mayhem only—yet somehow, someone had the audacity to be murdered. Inconsiderate people all around!

But you didn’t all come here just for the Halloween party. I know that. There is a certain someone you are waiting to hear about, I’m sure. A certain horrible, maggot of a person. Well…you won’t be disappointed. That issue will be solved, once and for all. The question you may be asking yourselves now is, how will it be solved? All I’m willing to say is, it happened in an unusual and extremely unprepared way. While, you shouldn’t worry too much, as my story, my precious Turney’s story, has a happy ending…it may be good to keep in mind that happiness sometimes shines brightest right after despair.

CONTENT WARNING: This is an M/M paranormal romance book. There will be blood, violence, gore, mention of SA (no on-page details), and death. Please do not read if you find any of the previous situations triggering.

Warning!! - Spoilers ahead: Eyes closed, Turney took a deep breath as the water ran over him. He had already finished cleaning and was just sort of standing there under the spray. While he couldn’t fully enjoy the heat of the water anymore, as temperature change didn’t really affect him much…it still felt good.
Taking another deep breath, he turned with his eyes still closed and walked forward, reaching out for one of the towels he knew was hanging there on the far wall of the rather large shower.
When his hand came in contact with something that was neither tile nor towel, his eyes shot open. He screamed, arm winding back without thought. He punched into the man standing there covered in blood as he was about to bring down an ax.
His fist went through the ‘man’ and into the tile, the vision popping into nothing like a balloon. Turney stood there speechless, just staring at his fist that was now embedded into the wall of the shower.

****

Octavius hummed the Ghostbusters’ theme song as he flew around and pressed fake stringy arterial spray to the sticky substance he had placed on the walls and ceiling moments before. It made it look like the walls were bleeding. Octavius had considered spraying fake liquid blood on the walls…but he had quickly decided against that idea. Wouldn’t want Henry to have a meltdown…again…
Though this was Scarlett’s house, so it probably would have been her freaking out on him. He grimaced at the thought. Yes, he had made a good decision!

Octavius pressed another piece to the wall when an idea popped into his head. Grinning, he looked around and then started to spin.

“Wheee.” He giggled, spinning around in circles, flinging the moldable plastic blood at the walls.

At the sound of the door slamming open, he stopped suddenly with a gasp, almost falling from the air. Some of the fake strings of blood flew from his hands. Octavius winced when the piece smacked Turney in the face.

The zombie flinched as the blood strings bounced off his face before falling to the ground. Turney’s expression was a mixture of fury and shock, before the shock fell away to just fury. The zombie's hazel green gaze flicked up to him. “You!” Turney growled.

His eyes widened. “Me?! Wait, you shouldn’t be in here!” He landed in front of the zombie.

Turney glared down at him. The zombie’s short brown hair looked damp, and like someone had been tugging on it as it stood up in spots—probably Turney himself.

Staring up at his zombie bun, he just barely held back his sigh of appreciation. Turney was so handsome. Pretty oval face, aquiline nose, square jaw, plush lips. Sure, he was pale now, his skin no longer tanned by the sun…but he was all his! All Octavius’. It was a shame his toned body was currently hidden behind baggy black sweats.

“Octavius, are you even listening to me?!” Turney snapped.

Oh, he definitely hadn’t been. “Uh…yes?”

“You... UGH!” Turney growled and threw something on the ground in front of him.

Octavius looked down at the crumpled-up piece of

paper. He winced when he realized it was one of his sticky spells—uh oh…
“Stop leaving these all about! You are going to give me a heart attack!”
Octavius blinked, head tilting, before pointing out, “But you are a zombie, you can’t have a heart attack…”
“I literally broke the shower!” Turney snapped.
Oh no…that…was not good. “Oh, we need to fix that before Scarlett finds out!”
“TOO LATE!” Turney hissed. “I already told her.”
“How could you?!” Octavius cried.

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Available in Kindle, print and audiobook!

Forever Together

The Undead Detective Agency

Get It Together Audiobook Narrated By Lance West

Get It Together

The Undead Detective Agency: Book 1

The Undead Detective Agency: Book 2

Keep It Together

Keep It Together Audiobook Narrated By Lance West

In Death Together

The Undead Detective Agency: Book 3

In Death Together Audiobook Narrated By Lance West

Forever Together Audiobook Narrated By Lance West

The Undead Detective Agency: Book 4

Forever Together

Get It Together Audiobook

Narrated By Lance West

Keep It Together Audiobook

Narrated By Lance West

In Death Together Audiobook

Narrated By Lance West

Forever Together Audiobook

Narrated By Lance West