The Undead Detective Files

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Folly of Incompetence Audiobook

Narrated By Lance West

COMING SOON!

The Undead Detective Files: Book 1

Folly of Incompetence

Welcome, welcome, it is I, Octavius Evander, Lead Detective and Owner of The Undead Detective Agency, here to say...we’re back!

Before dropping some hints about what is to come in this amazing and very sparkly first volume, those who have no clue who I am...I’d suggest you go back and read the previous series that is graciously named after my Agency, otherwise... Well, frankly, you will be very confused. If confused is your way of life...carry on, I shall not judge!

Now, the story picks up months after the end of The Undead Detective Agency, and my crew is dealing with the aftermath of...well, you know what. So, of course, I, the loving, amazing boss that I am, decided that it was time for a vacation—a fun duck-related vacation. And after hinting at resorting to possible friendnapping, I got my way!

But can I, Octavius, have a single day off without someone dying?! No, apparently, I cannot! So, cue multiple murders, long-time grudges, a baffling level of incompetence, and me facing down the ultimate enemy in a battle of wits...and glitter. What more is there to say besides...let the chaos begin...again!

NOTE: The Undead Detective Files is an MM paranormal romance spin-off series and a continuation of The Undead Detective Agency. The books are meant to be read in order and after The Undead Detective Agency series.

CONTENT WARNING: This book will contain blood, violence, gore, death, trauma induced panic attacks, and mentions of past abuse. Please do not read if you find any of the previous triggering.

“Octavius, what are you doing up?”
The vampire didn’t respond, his gaze still locked on the TV, completely focused on whatever was happening there.
Moments later, a narrator on the TV announced, in an old timey voice, “Thus concludes episode five of Mallard Mysteries. Stay tuned for the next episode, where our feathered detective solves the mystery of the murdered hen! As always, Ducktective Drake Feathering is on the case!”
Ducktective? Turney moved closer. Eyeing the screen, his brow rose in surprise as he stared at what looked to be an honest to God, real life Mallard duck, wearing small, round, gold-rimmed metal glasses, a gray tweed fedora, matching tweed slacks and suit jacket, a brown knit vest, gray bow tie, white collared shirt…and black leather shoes. The shoes were the shape of the duck’s webbed feet.
With the show over, Octavius slowly looked at him and said, “Bubby wants to be put down.”
His gaze flicked to the fish in his hand, who was still angrily blowing bubbles. “Octavius, Bubby is a fish… Why the hell is he swimming…” He blinked and shook his head. “No, how is he swimming around the halls like a hamster? Also, we only got back at eleven, it’s now four, why are you up?”
The vampire pursed his lips. “Well, Bubby was getting bored in his tank, so Min-ji helped me make the Bubby Bubblemobile.”
The way the man said all that, as if it was normal…
“Bubby…Bubblemobile?”

Octavius nodded cutely. “Yes! I came up with the name myself! Isn’t it cute?!” The vampire giggled. “Anyway, a little magic and tada, Bubby can leave and return to his tank whenever he wants!”

“The construction has something to do with this,

doesn’t it?”

“Yes...” The vampire gestured towards the floor with his eyes.

Sighing, Turney slowly set Bubby down. Without hesitating, the fish rolled off, out of the room. “Why do your pets like to sneak up on me?”
Not that it had been as bad as when Sprinkle had done it, but then again…he had still been human then.
“My pets?!” Octavius gasped in horror. “They are our pets, Turney!”
He chuckled. “Yes, yes, they are our pets, but…” He winced. “I am pretty sure Bubby doesn’t like me.”
Octavius waved his hand, as if waving the concern away. “Nonsense! He just needs time to get to know you. I suppose the problem is you haven’t really had time to bond with him! But once you spend time with Bubby, I just know he will love you as much as I do!”
How…does one spend time with a fish?
Instead of voicing that, as it would surely lead to him questioning his sanity, Turney just rephrased his previous question. “And you are up, why?”
The vampire blinked, before starting to bounce in his seat excitedly. “Oh, right! Well, I discovered this brilliant series a few months back, called Mallard Mysteries. It's about a duck who is a detective, who solves mysteries and crimes.”
He couldn’t help but smile in the face of his boyfriend being adorable, while also trying not to laugh at the vampire failing to, once again, answer his question. “And you are watching it at 4am, why?”
“Well,” Octavius huffed, as if frustrated that the answer wasn’t obvious. “I have to rewatch it multiple times, and memorize every single second! There are forty, thirty-minute long episodes, along with two, one hour-long special episodes in season one, and the first episode of season two is airing in TWO WEEKS!”

His eyes narrowed on the vampire who, while looking wide awake…had some suspiciously deep bags

under his eyes.
“I see.” He took a deep breath in, and held it before letting it out. “Did you actually get any sleep?”

Octavius’ eyes went a little wide, his gaze averting

before he softly murmured, “I did…”
“You are so bad at lying,” Turney said with a groan, rubbing his face.
“I have to rewatch! I have to REMEMBER!” the vampire whined as he flipped the blanket off himself with a dramatic flair, before starting to pout. But the man’s expression quickly shifted from a pout to wide innocent eyes and a small smile as Octavius patted the seat next to him.
Turney just stared. With sandy-blond curls that were a bit ruffled, and olive skin lit up by the TV, the man was looking very soft and adorable in his silky, blue, long sleeve sleep top, with matching pants. In a no doubt calculated move, somehow the vampire’s eyes grew brighter as Octavius began to enthusiastically pat the couch with both hands.
Rolling his eyes, Turney snorted and walked over. Octavius let out a happy squeal when he sat down with a groan. “We are so sleeping past breakfast, and…probably lunch.”
The vampire giggled. “It’s fineee! On to the next episode! Oh, but first, let me give you the rundown on a few characters. So, Ducktective, Drake Feathering, has a partner named Detective Benjamin ‘Benny’ Hastings. To be clear, they are police detectives. Anyway, unbeknownst to our feathered hero, Benny is actually a bad guy. On top of that, Benny is also trying to sleep with Ducktective’s girlfriend, Samantha Pebble!”

“Then Benny…is a duck too?”
Octavius frowned. “No, he’s human.”

“Is Samantha a duck?”
“No, she’s a penguin…”
Turney…didn’t know if he should be concerned, or… Nope…he was definitely concerned.
The vampire hummed. “You know what, let me just start it over!”

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A Pup's Audacity Audiobook

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The Undead Detective Files: Book 2

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